Lacie

A couple years ago (just before the season of Lent started) I sat in church listening to Kris McDaniel speak about the meaning and importance of Lent. I'd never really gotten the point of it all up until then, which instantly turned me from my original plan of a self-centered health-conscious diet fast...but to what? I just couldn't think of any good ideas for something that would put me in the proper position to pray for strength and look to God as my provider and caretaker. So during a time of prayer I asked God to reveal to me what he would like me to fast.

Just as my question was being formed, the idea shot down into my head in one of those divine moments of clarity, and I knew all too well that he had answered. Having felt the guiding hand of my Lord in heaven, my heart filled with that familiar overwhelming joy...and with the most tremendous sense of dread at the same time. "Make-up", he said.

Now I know most of you ladies can understand partly where I'm coming from here. Guys, just bear with me.

Allow me to be utterly vulnerable here. All my life I struggled with my self-image. In high school I began wearing make-up and found a new identity. I believed it to completely transform my face into something I could bear to show. And when I say "transform", I truly mean that I thought myself to look completely different with it on. I felt as though I was noticed for the first time. This mask I hid behind became my confidence. I would not set foot outside my home without donning the full works. I had it in my head that I wouldn't even be recognized bare-faced. And I tortured myself with the thought that my mask was a lie...that the attention I received was due to nothing but this fake exterior, and that if the world only knew what I was hiding underneath I would surely be despised and regarded as the nobody I believed myself to be.

I can only speak for myself, but I do wonder how many women out there have also suffered from this form of self-loathing. It's hard to admit such scary thoughts. But I owned up to it the moment I gave my life to Christ and allowed him to begin sorting out what was in my heart. This was one issue that the Lord still had me on the operating table for as I heard the call in church that day.

And now hopefully you better understand what held me in such a panic as God spoke that word to me. But he also reminded me that he would never allow me to suffer beyond what I can bear. I knew he was in control. He made sure of it that I was in a place of trusting his hand before handing me such a load. And so I went for it.

During this time, God continually placed people before me who knew nothing of my sacrifice but complimented me on my natural beauty. Not to say that the season wasn't hard. It was excruciating at times (particularly when I was surrounded by beautiful dolled-up ladies on nights out). But in my times of weakness I continually offered my temptations and my pain to the Lord and asked for his strength in return. Never was there a time when he did not freely give it. And all the while I heard his voice wooing me. Rejoicing over his own perfect creation with tender words of affection and affirmation.

This was most definitely a time of sacrifice...of dying to my flesh and in a part identifying with Jesus' sacrifice. But it was so much richer than that. He chose to also employ it as a time of revelation about my identity in Christ and his insatiable love for ME...his daughter...his bride...HIS creation. This particular Lent season not only marked a significant increase in my love for him. It marked a time of major redemption in my life.

Jeremy

Last year was the first season of Lent I ever observed. I didn't feel as if I embraced it as whole-heartedly as I was hoping to or thought I would, but then again, in all of my 28 year Christian existence it was the first time I had ever tried. I grew up in a very godly, very spiritually-sound, very devout, and very PROTESTANT Christian home. My family and my family's roots were from the southern-most parts of Alabama, and well, let's just say anything remotely resembling a Catholic rite was less than warmly embraced or encouraged in my family. Lent was one such discouraged rite.

So, whether it was Lent, Advent, Ash Wednesday, or any other mysterious Catholic tradition, we looked down our righteous Protestant noses at anything that smacked of Catholicism and its meaningless, obligatory acts. Once I was actually taught at Trinity the significance and the beauty in these events, nothing could have been further from the truth.

I found last year that what I was able to learn and observe in the Lenten (spell?) season was my first concrete experience that allowed me to own my salvation. To retreat to and enter into a proverbial desert place with Jesus, to be tempted, to be tried and tested, and as a result to know my Savior all the more. Prayer and fasting were always two concepts held in the highest regard in my Protestant fortress of seclusion, but rarely was there ever any practical example given to the body as to how to really partake of these blessed sacraments.

Lent is teaching me to do just that. To consecrate and concentrate on Jesus, his life, his death, and his resurrection. To celebrate with new found joy on Easter morning when we shout and proclaim the life he in turn gave freely to us. True Lent is nothing like the religious zombie motions that I thought people did to earn heavenly brownie points or put a check mark in a check box of spiritual obligations. Lent to me is now a time of finding myself -- and finding that my Savior is with me.

Steve

I would say that I am looking forward to lent this year in the sense that I want to be able to fast in a way where I am looking solely towards the death and resurrection of Christ. In times past I have fasted things, that in a sense I needed to rid myself of an addiction; i.e. my first year of lent fasting(which was early on after God changed my life around) I gave up TV and alcohol. It was during this time that God did a lot of changing in my life. Even though pre lent God had begun transforming me, drunkeness was still a weak point, and I wasted much time watching pointless TV, so I fully believe God used this to help free me from strongholds. However from what I remember I wasn't fasting for the specific point of mourning. I pray that this year I can have a better understanding and revelation of this. I know too many times in my spiritual walk, fasting has been about me, self centered. Maybe sometimes it was noble and I would fast for a situation for a friend, but even in that sense, it was about something that I could do, and not that any of those fasts were bad, but I have had this continual urging to be able to fast for nothing; let me explain. I want to be able to fast not to rid myself of sin, not to earn God's love, or to become more spiritual, but in an act of love back to God, not in a self centered way, but in a God centered way, mourning with the rest of the believers that our Lord was murdered, and just allowing the reality of that sink into my life, and at the same time looking forward to the resurrection in which I live. I feel this lent really being tied to advent in the sense that I feel Bonheoffer's sermon being just as applicable. Delayed Gratification, unsettled waiting and longing. So I have some questions for lent this year: How can I understand the resurrection if I never understand His death. How can I see what God is doing, if I am always looking at myself?

Hope this helps. Fasting is an interesting discipline.

John

Last year I fasted from the internet for lent. I think it was the first time since probably 1995 that I had ever really gone without. At the time, I was spending between 1 and 3+ hours every night after work online. Usually I'd turn on the computer when I got home, start by checking my email, then look at the clock to find it was time for bed. No myspace, IM, onion, SI, email or other unmentionables for 5 weeks. I thought without the internet I would be very bored each night. At first I did feel very disconnected; but as the weeks passed I began to realize I had been paying my cable company $30 a month to steal part of my life every day. I rediscovered the joy of spending time with friends and family doing not much in particular, reading, and well, yes, television too. After lent I found I used the internet so infrequently (seriously) I could no longer justify paying for it. I pulled the plug on my internet access all together.

Tova

I fasted rock-n-roll this past lent. I had begun to notice how much I crank up the volume in my car while listening to music and began to consider the effects on my soul. I thought about how I was filling space that could be quiet and prayerful with very loud music and I thought about how times like this were becoming more and more frequent. Times of letting myself go to the music in my car and shutting out other possibilities of use with my commuting time. The drive would last a half hour and from the moment I left, the tunes would go on and when I pulled in the parking lot of my destination, I would turn the volume switch off. With this practice I began to notice, that I had completely shut out thinking time, praying time and that it truly was an escape. An escape on the way to a job where the stress level was high at the time. When our annual Lent season came at Trinity, there wasn't a shadow of a doubt in my mind of what needed to go: Rock-N-Roll... I remember the last song I listened to before the 40 days began..."I want to sing that Rock-N-Roll" by Gillian Welch. I then went to a bookstore and bought the Message on CD. I began listening to Matthew and different Epistles on the way to work. I began to quiet my soul and pray. This allowed God's peace to come into the place I was filling with music. Stepping out of my car as I arrived, with the Lent season underway, I noticed a significant difference in my being. I was practicing the presence of God instead of the presence of music and the musician's lyrics. I was allowing God's truth to fill my mind and give me hope. That was a great Lent. I wonder what this Lent holds. After last years Lent was up, I also noticed how my soul never went back to that full-fledged "giving-over" to the music. I didn't want to listen to music as much and that was refreshing. And when I did, I was enjoying it in a way where for those moments of listening it was perfectly delightful and not crowded out with a on-going, loud, escape-motivated practicing the presence of music idolatry.

Bethany

a quick and dirty version:

i fasted booze and smokes! it was actually the first time i observed lent in a sacrificial way and it was really amazing..a time to get prepared for Easter, and in the midst of it, i found out i was going to have a baby an so it was also a time to prepare my body for Emma Jean......

it was my beginning of learning how to pare down, how to not have the things i thought i always needed to 'get by' and see how it was truly through God's strength that i get by.......and so by pealing things away, making things more simple that truth was made apparent and in very good timing for what my future held. God's plans are amazing, and when we choose to observe and agree with them, new life comes.....that's what I learned during lent.....

Jason

My experience last time wasn't what I had hoped for. I had determined what I was going to fast weeks before the day (alcohol), but after the first week of Lent, I got psyched out and broke the fast. I felt horrible, guilty. What was supposed to be a cleansing turned into a white-knuckle competition of wills: ironically, both mine.

I don't know how it will look this time around. The idea is to relate to Christ on a very small level, meditate on His loss, etc., but I'm afraid that Lent does a number on me psychologically where the experience looks something like this: noble intentions, good start, miserable failure, spend rest of Lent asking for forgiveness.

Ryan

Last year was the first time i observed lent in the way of fasting. I chose to fast from reading books and instead to dedicate that time to reading the gospels. I think it was a good way to prepare myself for Easter. Nothing really magical just a good way of practically not being distracted during the season of lent.

Jon

The first time I fasted during lent was a couple of years ago when Kris challenged us to fast. Amanda and I had just purchased our first house on Paul Ave- a beautiful 3 bedroom house - brand new . I remember Kris preached about doubting Thomas - and how Thomas needed proof of Jesus' return.

Anyway- I had never fasted before and I decided to be prayful and meditate on what Lent was all about and how Thomas was made to believe.

Well, The first day was okay - until dinner time - huge pangs of hunger. But, I relaxed and said a prayer - I have it off pretty darn easy I can make it through this. I could go raid the pantry- but that's way too easy. I went to bed and slept fine.

I awoke-and all I could think about were eggs, bacon, cereal, cinabons, and strawberries - at the time I didn't even eat breakfast - it was the thought of depriving myself that was Eating away at me. This went on. I couldn't concentrate. The new big screen t.v. with all its High Definition glory couldn't keep my attention. With a deep sigh, I got up out of my easy chair and decided to go on a walk. Amanda was out with a friend that day - so it was me just wandering the neighborhood.

I walked around for a while - perfect weather. Then I came upon some brand new unfinished houses - I thought what the heck I'll wonder through. This house was enormous - I think twice the size of our recently purchased house. Porches, bedrooms, bathrooms, garden tubs, it was large and really well thought out. Then I went downstairs and thought "this would be perfect for my office. I could put my computer here and maybe another over there. Oh, I could even put in a sound proof closet here. And an edit suite for features here and the storage down here..."

"STOP!" I screamed to myself. "You selfish SOB. Why do you need this? This is outrageous. You have an office at your brand new house - Yeah the new house that has granite countertops and an ice machine. I am so selfish."

On and on, I beat myself up. I walked up the stairs from that unfinished basement and out of the house - hating what seemed to be greed and loving the dream of a full production office.

As I walked away my head was down. I felt so ungrateful. I slowly walked down the long driveway and down the road. I decided to pray.

I prayed "Father, please forgive me for not being happy with my beautiful home. You have overwhelmed us. I am very grateful for what blessings you have given us - and I will work to make you proud. I will not think of this again...please forgive me, I am very ungrateful...unless you want me to do so."

I stopped walking. "I feel better," I thought and let out a big sigh. I raised my head. The street sign for the unfinished house read "Thomas Road."

Thomas Road. I cried.

We sold our old house and moved into the new house - all within two months. The realtor and builder finished the basement which is now my office with such care. He has a home business and really loved the idea of helping us out so he took us under his wing- and brought such wonderful ideas to the house - he even put in a fenced in backyard for our yorkie poos - all of this included in the original price.

So, our business is strong. And, I feel the work we have produced has touched people's lives - it's become a ministry of sorts.

That was the first time I fasted.

Rebecca

Last year was my first Lent, and originally I thought I should give up coffee since I'm pretty dependent on it and it would be really hard. But I don't think Lent is really about making yourself (and, if I were to give up coffee, those around me) miserable. Rather, it would be more effective to give up something I didn't think about a lot, so that when I had to, I would be reminded why I gave it up. So I stopped eating cheese.
I think that having a tangible way to be reminded of God during the doldrums of my day, and having something commonplace to directly associate Him with, really prepared my mind and heart for the season. Lent is a good idea